< online >

Raymond: Well, I can’t believe tomorrow’s your last day.
Raymond: It was nice knowing you.
Me: !!!
Raymond: You know I’m just kidding right?
Me: (stares)
Raymond: I mean, I can always IM you.
Me: You’re never online.
Raymond: Well, because you’re always online. Anything I say is just gonna end up on the internet anyway.
Me: But that doesn’t explain why you’re not online.
Raymond: Well, also, nobody talks to me.

< simpsons >

(The Simpsons in the background)
Me: Are you watching the Simpsons?
Raymond: No...no. I'm not...Yes, I'm watching the Simpsons.

< continuation? >

Me: I wrote Robert (the new permanent guy) a letter.
Raymond: Oh no.
Me: Why do you say that?
Raymond: The blog will NOT continue.

< health >

Me: (reading what was just printed fresh off the printer) "Chronic Disease and the Health Care Crisis"!
Raymond: OH THAT'S MINE!!!! (rushes over to take paper away from me)
Raymond: I'm getting old.

I honestly have never seen him move so fast. What have you got to hide, Raymond? What have you got to hide? PLUS. You're not old. You're 27.

< shirt >

(sarah walks over wearing a shirt that says "Girls Do It Better")
Me: Wow! I was about to wear my "Girls Rule" shirt today.
Raymond: That would be funny...
Me and Sarah: (giggle, as everyone, including Raymond, knows that we're gay)
Raymond: What? Cuz she's wearing something similar.