< fake resume >

Raymond: I don’t get it.
Me: What?
Raymond: If there are no proteins in this drink, why do they have an area for it?
Me: It’s a standard label.
Raymond: Well…they should just leave it blank. It’s like putting something on a resume you haven’t done.

< squirrel >

Raymond: Hey look at that squirrel! It's got a big piece of...wow!*
Me: HAHAHAHA.
Raymond: No! Really! Did you see it??? Wow!
Raymond: Hey where's your camera?

*Raymond really said, "It's got a big pizza...wow!"

< name >

(continuation of previous blog)
Me: What kind of friends do you have???
Raymond: No! I went by my Chinese name when I was at UCLA.
Me and Angie: Ohhh.
Raymond: Yeah, there was a point at which I was like, "If these Americans can't pronounce my name, then screw it."
Me: Wow.
Raymond: But I gave in.

< good friends >

Angie: Did you give your friends the link to your website?
Raymond: No. If I did, they will be saying, 'Who's Raymond?'"

< on the human sexuality class at ucla >

Me: That class was a disappointment. There were only monkeys--no humans!
Raymond: He brought in a prostitute in my class.
Me: See we had different teachers. Yours was better. None of this monkey crap.
Raymond: Yeah, he brought in someone with experience.
Angie: HAHAHAHA.
Raymond: I'm just trying to talk about something we can all relate to.